I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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