What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize