It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Do vagina's smell?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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