Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
