Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
