This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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