you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
