I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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