Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.

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(513): View more from Ohio

you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp

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(323): View more from California

I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...

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(647): View more from Ontario

hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason

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