So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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