We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
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Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
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he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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