your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
