I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
