You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
