this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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