I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?