ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
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What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
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I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"