he wants to bone in the snuggie
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
