yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize