My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
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he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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