Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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