dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
