I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
