So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
