I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize