I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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