he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We are two peas in an std pod
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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