good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
