moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
