sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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