are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
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The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
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I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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