Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
