No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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