The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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