dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
