Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
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He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
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I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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