he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
