My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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