i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
