I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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