hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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