I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
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Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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