You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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