I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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