I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
