Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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