Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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