No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
