He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
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also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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