hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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