Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
