Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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