yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Fuck appropriateness.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
