If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize