actually, I'm a sock model
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
