Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
