i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
