Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
she peed on how many people?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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