Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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