We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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