so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
