The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize