Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
