Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
