New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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