I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
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My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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