Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
