This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
