I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
