He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
